CANDLE IN THE DARK
 
Member ~rhea

A few nights ago I was working into the night at my computer and we had a power failure and suddenly I was enveloped in pitch black, inky space. After a few seconds I oriented myself to the silence and dark and instinctively made my way upstairs to find candles. I didn’t bump into anything, no broken bones …..in fact it was all very uneventful – except for one thing. As I was making my way through the dark, and moving confidently through the house I was struck by how easily I trusted myself – placing trust in my instincts – without giving it a thought.

My instincts and intuition are evident every day and are extremely valuable assets in my business life. I spent more than three decades in corporate life and generated some golden rules about business dealings and acquiring new clients – among them were these three:

· If I have questions about a client’s ethics and the energy does not feel good – Check it. Test it. Verify it. If it still feels the same WALK AWAY.
· If they don’t like direct questions in the initial stages of a relationship – recognize the danger signs it probably won’t improve.
· If it sounds like a lie – it usually is.

I helped to build a very healthy business living by these rules. I now make my living consulting with companies on how to assess and attract new clients to their business, how to develop their own rules that are based on their corporate values.

However, I haven’t always been as overtly confident in my intuition. In fact for many years of my business life I presented my intuitions “packaged”, because I worked in an environment where instincts were not trusted – and because other people wouldn’t accept them – I was also reluctant to have confidence. I had to research and prove the hypothesis before I could make the intuition an “issue”. So I would instinctively know something was either real or not – and then would set about generating documentation to support my instinctive, intuitive knowledge. After a few years of this charade my partners recognized that I had a valuable asset – and that my instincts were usually proven correct. We dropped the farce and entered into a very different corporate environment. One of trust in ourselves and each other.

So I can trust my instincts to walk up a couple of flights of stairs in the dark and not have an accident. Simple.
Other people trust my instincts and pay me to recognize right and wrong. Glorious.
But I don’t always trust my instincts when it comes to my spiritual life. Pretty stupid.

Pretty stupid when I know that my intuition is my Higher Self speaking the truth. Giving me the signals that I don’t always want to acknowledge. Although I listen when I’m in the dark, or when someone’s words clang to the floor; but when I’m at a new spiritual threshold and my intuition says “walk through – it’s the right thing to do” – I start to rationalize and debate the merits of the directions I can take. Why do I do that??? Is it fear, or is it my Separate Self trying to hang on. As I write this I know the truth of that last statement. It is my ego desperately trying to maintain its’ hold on me, and the decisions I’m making now are far more dangerous to its existence than the ramifications of a business meeting or a sprained ankle.

In reading the recent article “Spiritual Realist Awareness States” it makes me think that my lack of intuitive confidence in the past was because I was living through my Personal Mind – full of self-doubting “I think”, as opposed to a more objective Mind Awareness which makes me aware of my relationship with my Higher Self – and trust its voice.

My Higher Self is my candle in the dark – it is my burst of light - the voice I must listen to – and when the next closed door hits my nose I hope it will remind me how strongly I believe what I have just written.

Copyright © rhea, 2003.

 

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